The internship selection process brings about an emotional acronym…
I.N.T.E.R.N.S.H.I.P.: Interest. Neglect. Tension. Empathy. Relieved. Nervousness. Shame. Hope. Insecurity. Powerlessness.
The month of February brings about so many mixed emotions for students applying for an internship, myself included. I have felt hopeful, excited, stressed, anxious, fearful, happy, sad, optimistic, pessimistic, and disappointed – this list of mixed emotions could go on. Fortunately, I was incredibly lucky to have been chosen for interviews during the internship process this year. Being invited for an interview was exactly what I had been waiting for, especially since this was my second time around applying for an internship. Becoming an intern is the next step to my absolute dream and aspiration to becoming a registered dietitian. However, I know what it feels like to not be invited for an interview, at all. At that dark and saddened time in my life I felt inadequate, upset, distraught, angry with the dietetic profession, hopeless and surprisingly ready to give up. I figured this year when I was invited for internship interviews I assumed my emotions and feelings would be the complete opposite from the previous time I applied. I was wrong. Yes, I did feel incredibly honoured, happy, and excited, but the separation of applicants being interviewed from those applicants who unfortunately would not be interviewed this year, was a bittersweet feeling for me. I care deeply about my friends and I believe they will make wonderful, trusting and competent dietitians; however, I found it unbelievably saddening and difficult that I felt I could not be happy for myself for my accomplishments in the next steps of reaching my goal because my friends’ dreams had been shattered and completely crushed. It is an ironic situation because in one breath I should want to feel happy for myself, but in the other breath I feel guilty for celebrating reaching that following step of my ultimate goal when my friends are terribly hurt and feeling helpless. Something needs to be changed. How can we morally allow this to keep happening, year after year? We cannot allow this form of training to isolate, dehumanize and demoralize peers, classmates, and friends.
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